I’m going to start this like an AA meeting: “Hi, I’m JJ and I’m a Scorpio.” I’ve yet to renounce my sun sign and I’ve yet to hear people say anything remotely nice about Scorpios. Everything I hear starts somewhat pleasant, although a bit intense, and ends, every single time, with the only thing no one actually wants to hear: “…, but…”.
Here is what the astrologers say about the ones born under the guidance of Pluto and, sometimes, Mars. Apparently, we’re the most focused and obsessed individuals of the zodiac, agreeing to the most terrible tasks just to prove that we can do it. And we usually can. We’re arrogant, we remember pretty much anything (which makes us the elephants of the twelve signs) and we never, ever, under any circumstances, forgive anyone when they have wronged us in any way. We’re mysterious and paranoid, we’re compulsive secret – keepers (dear Potter family, you should have had a Scorpio as a recipient of your address) and we’re the most inclined to go mad at an early age and stay that way. Also, beware of a Scorpio on the prowl: if they want you, you don’t actually stand a chance. It is said that while a Leo will dazzle you with their smile and boisterous personality, a Scorpio will sing a siren song from afar, leaving the intended target wanting more, but never getting it. Unless… see, there is always an “unless” with Scorpios.
Think anything you’ve read is bad? Wait for the next batch of professional opinions about Scorpios. If we’re born in certain days and in certain years, we’re going to rule the world. Unfortunately, if we’re not ruling the world, we’re going to rip it apart. Nobody ever claimed that Scorpios were the “good Samaritans” of the zodiac, but to believe that if they are not given a purpose, they will create an evil one is simply preposterous. And, while everyone wants to believe that their day of birth indicates their IQ, it is highly unlikely for that to be true. Sure, astrologers say that Scorpios are too smart for their own good, most of the time.
Here is what I, as a born and practicing Scorpio, considered a perfect specimen of said sun sign, say that is true and what is false, in my own experience. After all, I’ve met Scorpios that one could believe were born under a Libra sun. Which is not an insult. Just a statement. Anyway, here are my practical observations:
- Scorpios are ambitious beyond belief: TRUE. Yes, we are. Yes, we will do almost all it takes to make something happen. Yes, we get so focused we literally forget that the world exists unless they can help us fulfill that goal. Cold, but true.
- Scorpios are heartless: FALSE. Heartless is not the correct word. We’re careful. We’re cautious. We’re cold. We’re distant. But we’re not heartless. Want to know why? Because we love very few people, but we tend to love them through hell and high water.
- Scorpios are obsessed: TRUE. Now, that might not be a quality to a lot of people, but to Scorpios it is the only thing that keeps us focused beyond belief. Of course, most of us know when to quit. The problem and the bad reputation of the sign come from those individuals that have taken the obsession one step further into pathological land. But, hey, every village has its idiots…
- Scorpios are mean: FALSE. We’re not mean. We’re just rarely honest. And when we’re honest and you’ve yet to see that side of us, it might come out a tad too harsh.
- Scorpios are natural liars/cheaters/social chameleons: TRUE. Sure, not everyone can be a social chameleon and I will confess to not being one, but I’ve seen Scorpios charm their way in and out of basically anything smaller then a death sentence. Do we lie? Yes. Do we ever get caught? Only if we want to. The real question is, then: why did we want to get caught?
- Scorpios are natural talkers: FALSE. If there is one thing that a Scorpio will never do is talk unprompted. When we talk, we have something to say and you should listen, since we probably won’t say it again. So, how come so many Scorpios are considered the most charming people in the room? See the above point.
- Scorpios are magnetic: TRUE. This is a double edged sword. Sure, once you get past the fact that we really don’t talk and that we’re moody bastards, we’re actually quite nice people. However, the majority of the people who try that will quit sometime after the fifth attempt at getting us a drink has been politely, but coldly, rebuked. Though, if you persevere, you might be surprised.
- Scorpios are boring: FALSE. Now, this is just mean. We’re not boring, we’re just not the life of the party. We’re quiet, but very keen on everyone else.
- Scorpios read people correctly: TRUE. Most of the time. We’re not mediums or clairvoyants, but we have something that most people ignore: our silence. The same thing that might make other people believe we’re boring and sad, it the thing that gives us that extra edge. Sure, we’re not going to be dancing the night away, but we’re going to be able to tell you who is dating who and who is cheating on whom in exactly twenty minutes after arriving at a party or a pub. You got to love that skill, right?
So, according to my own experience, these things are true or false about Scorpios. Or about this particular Scorpio. If you never remember anything else about this sun sign, remember this: never cross a Scorpio. Payback will be swift and completely unexpected. Also, unless you’re an expert liar, never lie to a Scorpio. After all, it is said that you cannot con a con artist. You won’t get away with it and we will remember it.
